Tulpa.info - tulpa-questions-2

Frist poast: How cut-and-dry do you think whether a tulpa is connected to the senses is. Is it always very clear that they are or are not connected to the senses, or is it a murky grey area?

Seems to be cut-and-dry for us specifically. My tulpa seems to chiefly exist in a visualization which is overlaid on reality, they experience everything from their perspective unless they are switched in, and they are capable of being in the wonderland and not experiencing what I am experiencing, while being active and being talked to. I suspect that the actual way this works for people is probably belief-based though, so I'd not be surprised if people have widely different experiences. As a note though, I can evidently purposefully share senses with them. (edited)

Does it feel any different when you do vs when you don't?

When sharing senses? It requires intent and direction but it's otherwise the same. Also interestingly they can do the same to me for touch, which causes weird ephemeral, but strong sensations.

2:17 PM

Come to think of it I don't think they've ever actually tried other senses - we should probably experiment on that point.

Do you think you'd ever be able to entirely block senses out if someone else were fronting?

I've yet to achieve full dissociation from senses, I'm but a bab when it comes to switching and fronting and such. Theoretically if their experience is not confabulated in some way and my brain can generate their experience it should be able to generate it for me. I'd hesitate to give any strong answers obviously, but I don't see why not. (edited)

Do you feel that is directly tied to identity?

2:28 PM

Would be interested to hear your experiences once switching

The senses? No I don't. I don't think any thought or mechanism of the brain is innately tied to an identity. I largely think identities are ephemeral reference mechanisms for a set of ideas and memories that can be applied and unapplied to any process. More like a tag that can be applied to another thought, and then referenced by itself at a later time. (edited)

Okay so experientially (0% chance I'm using that correctly), you still expect in some sense to perceive the senses when somebody else is fronting unless blocked out somehow entirely? Or in any case just means that experience wouldn't be getting "labeled" with "you"?

It's difficult to make claims on something I'm yet to experience, but I'd expect full dissociation from the senses to mean I do not perceive anything from the senses myself. My brain doesn't struggle to cut me off from the senses in sleep while continuing to collect sensory data and potentially even wake me up with them. That can be definitely construed as blocking them out somehow, but I actually think that might be unrepresentative of what's actually happening - which is just that you're just not being given access to them in the first place. Though the brain as a whole is still collecting data it would instead be labeling that data "tulpa", and purposefully not adding you to the mix.

Yeah, it's just there's one camp that things there is conscious sensory experience so presuming senses could be blocked out it would mean blocking it out for everybody. I was just trying to figure out where your views fell lol

I can definitely imagine it being very difficult for someone who's super-integrated with their tulpa in terms of senses. I've seen some people claim the default for them is that the form of the tulpa is merely something they puppet around willfully, and the tulpa experiences things always from the perspective of the host. (edited)

Difficult how?

If your presumption is that your tulpa shares your senses, it does stand to reason that blocking out your senses would block out theirs.

4:19 PM

Which is probably enough to cause it to happen that way.

Tupper dead? Anyway.. Lilith: yv& Absolutely. It's more a question of if the reverse is possible. If they're fronting and you cut off/block out your senses, does it block out theirs too and they just don't think that it does. Or is there even much difference...

How would it be possible for them to have cut off senses and not know it? If you mean that it might be possible for them to experience the illusion that they are piloting the body while actually remaining unconscious, there would be ways to test that simply by having them to do something that leaves some sort of effect on the environment.

4:46 PM

Also, just generally speaking, I think confabulated experiences inherently have an ephemeral, inconsistent quality to them, sort of like with dreams. I've totally caught my tulpa saying some confabulated stuff because it makes no sense in terms of the time required to do the activity they were describing - Stuff that requires conscious thought, like awareness of time (in a strict, numerical sense), is noticeably something that the unconscious brain just can't do. So anything that clearly displays that would be a sign it's not confabulated. (edited)

yeah I mean agreed, that's definitely a way to test it. In that way, claims of tulpas experiencing things outside our awareness while they're fronting is testable at least in a way that testing them going stuff in wonderland isn't. I know it's kind of a tough one to answer but what do you think identities are, exactly? (edited)

To extrapolate on what I mentioned - I think whenever you have a thought or activate a mechanism in the brain we have a memory-reference mechanism designed to compare that to your memory. These memories and actions can be tagged with identities - so I think identities are essentially little more than names for collections of associations with memory. To compare it to a fictional character's identity - we do store the memories and feelings of fictional character's thoughts in the same way as ours - but because we are not tagged in them they are more distant to us, or perhaps because we are in some way "less" tagged in them. An identity is essentially a label, rather than the content, which is memory (which can be associated with multiple identities). If that makes sense? (edited)

100% makes sense, on that we're on the same page. But when you talk about one headmate being associated to the senses and experiencing it while another one isn't it sounds almost like it implies identities have separate streams/experiences of conscious awareness which I don't think is the case, depending on how you semantically define it I think the one consciousness stream either pays attention to a sense or it doesn't and it affects everyone but that identities can either decide they do or do not associate with what's being experienced but it's being experienced regardless. And the only other way of coming to the idea they had different experiences is post-hoc via memory Otherwise I think the way we talk about stuff gives some the idea that switching out will be just like going to bed just black unconsciousness until they wake up and presumably remember what happened, and I think that's misleading Of course, the occasional experience I mentioned us having occasionally almost seems to contradict all of this, but I don't think it actually does, lol.

I actually agree, I think that if I were to achieve full dissociation realistically I would be in reduced brain-power state and I would need to operate chiefly unconsciously or through the fronter focusing on me to make me think. I think that might be the main reason that people do achieve full-wonderland-immersion need to work at it even after they achieve full dissociation, because in that state they are very vulnerable to just not-functioning and becoming dormant identities that aren't referred to by anything. The only thing I'd say is that while there isn't two conscious spaces for you to inhabit - there are an endless series of looped reflexes that you can also be connected to and experience. I think there is an unconscious space you can inhabit where you are less proactive and more reactive (I also think this is essentially where tulpas "triggers" live, with regards to triggers that you don't expect). Again I'd compare it to dreaming. I'd presume the experience of being in a wonderland is akin to hypnosis or dream, basically a suggestively powerful visualization where you have less cognitive ability. (edited)

As an example, we know that the brain for example is always taking in data and always cycling through its systems, and it doesn't stop, but even if you're in the front you tune out of many of your senses unless they're relevant or you encounter something novel or unexpected. Whilst you can't have two spaces doing math at once, as the brain cycles through its visualization or sense routines, there's nothing theoretically stopping an identity being tagged in a thought, sense or action the front is currently unconscious of.

6:29 PM

But it won't ever have a sense of "oversight" or that implies you're drawing on the conscious mind - perhaps if the fronter isn't fully utilizing it or some such that might be conceivable. (edited)

6:29 PM

It's otherwise just input-output based on what you expect. (edited)

6:30 PM

It's [Feel thing] > [Do thing in response] > [Ad Naseum] based on your past experiences (edited)

Zen

Seems to be cut-and-dry for us specifically. My tulpa seems to chiefly exist in a visualization which is overlaid on reality, they experience everything from their perspective unless they are switched in, and they are capable of being in the wonderland and not experiencing what I am experiencing, while being active and being talked to. I suspect that the actual way this works for people is probably belief-based though, so I'd not be surprised if people have widely different experiences. As a note though, I can evidently purposefully share senses with them. (edited)

That's really cool. My dream system configuration.

Zen

I actually agree, I think that if I were to achieve full dissociation realistically I would be in reduced brain-power state and I would need to operate chiefly unconsciously or through the fronter focusing on me to make me think. I think that might be the main reason that people do achieve full-wonderland-immersion need to work at it even after they achieve full dissociation, because in that state they are very vulnerable to just not-functioning and becoming dormant identities that aren't referred to by anything. The only thing I'd say is that while there isn't two conscious spaces for you to inhabit - there are an endless series of looped reflexes that you can also be connected to and experience. I think there is an unconscious space you can inhabit where you are less proactive and more reactive (I also think this is essentially where tulpas "triggers" live, with regards to triggers that you don't expect). Again I'd compare it to dreaming. I'd presume the experience of being in a wonderland is akin to hypnosis or dream, basically a suggestively powerful visualization where you have less cognitive ability. (edited)

See I feel like dreamlike wonderlanding would count as a sort of conscious awareness and can't figure out if we're talking about different ways or just using different labels but about the same things. I assume any fully immersed wonderland experiences that occur while any other identity is conscious in waking life is confabulation but, I admittedly don't know if I've got anything other than just intuition telling me that

11:04 PM

Oh and I'm not sure if it actually matters necessarily that it's confabulation really or not in terms of realness of wonderland stuff, I just think it misleads some systems to think they can create a headmate to do the stuff they don't wanna do and they can effectively just zonk off to "sleep" and "wake up" to it being done and I don't think that's realistic But the second bit re the senses part of me is saying goddamn, that would actually make sense and the other part of me is saying that a given sensory experience is either in awareness or it isn't and if it is then any identity currently active is aware of it, but that it's possible to create stories and understandings that make that not entirely the case but not in the way some are going to wind up mis-reading it to mean (edited)

vixiUwU

See I feel like dreamlike wonderlanding would count as a sort of conscious awareness and can't figure out if we're talking about different ways or just using different labels but about the same things. I assume any fully immersed wonderland experiences that occur while any other identity is conscious in waking life is confabulation but, I admittedly don't know if I've got anything other than just intuition telling me that

The mind would likely confabulate setting for you I'd say, because it always tries to fill in gaps in hypnotic trances and dreams. However I don't think it's wise to presume the experience itself is confabulated. Again to compare to dreams, the "setting" of dreams is confabulated, and you are often not capable of questioning what happens in them by default unless you have trained habits to restore conscious ability - but the actual experience of dreams most definitely isn't confabulated. Though I'd suspect any use of visualization from the front would hijack the process and prevent it from continuing. The brain has loosely defined areas that cannot multitask - but they can collectively multitask on certain things. And on the point of confabulated memories for tulpas, I wouldn't be surprised given that state is all they've known, that they wouldn't be able to tell what is and isn't confabulation - but for the hosts who have done it. I'd actually seriously question whether it could be confabulated and for them not to know it unless they just failed to question it properly - confabulations are not difficult to pick apart, and I'd expect a host to probably know and be able to compare it to something like a dream. Again though, most of this is conjecture since I do not actually do it. Though it seems fascinating enough to give a go, and people seem to have done it before. So I'll get back to you on that, in like a year or more probably. (edited)

Abvieon {Alex}

That's really cool. My dream system configuration.

Hmm? Is there something you consider not optimal about your default states?

11:36 PM

On what I mean by confabulating setting - I very much doubt you'd be actually directing anything in that state, just experiencing. You'd be going with what is expected, operating in a very auto-pilot-ey way, and the unconscious would be filling in blanks. Dreams do this super strongly as well by suggesting a full role to you and history that usually you accept immediately.

Huh, that's a really cool point. Do you think then you could basically go into that by yourself while "awake" even with nobody in front, like a trance?

That's basically what hypnosis is, you can hallucinate what you're told, but you get told it by someone else or a script rather than just the brain filling in the blanks.

Zen

The mind would likely confabulate setting for you I'd say, because it always tries to fill in gaps in hypnotic trances and dreams. However I don't think it's wise to presume the experience itself is confabulated. Again to compare to dreams, the "setting" of dreams is confabulated, and you are often not capable of questioning what happens in them by default unless you have trained habits to restore conscious ability - but the actual experience of dreams most definitely isn't confabulated. Though I'd suspect any use of visualization from the front would hijack the process and prevent it from continuing. The brain has loosely defined areas that cannot multitask - but they can collectively multitask on certain things. And on the point of confabulated memories for tulpas, I wouldn't be surprised given that state is all they've known, that they wouldn't be able to tell what is and isn't confabulation - but for the hosts who have done it. I'd actually seriously question whether it could be confabulated and for them not to know it unless they just failed to question it properly - confabulations are not difficult to pick apart, and I'd expect a host to probably know and be able to compare it to something like a dream. Again though, most of this is conjecture since I do not actually do it. Though it seems fascinating enough to give a go, and people seem to have done it before. So I'll get back to you on that, in like a year or more probably. (edited)

And on the point of confabulated memories for tulpas, I wouldn't be surprised given that state is all they've known, that they wouldn't be able to tell what is and isn't confabulation

What does that mean? Why wouldn't tulpas be able to know more?

Well, if we presume that a tulpa who has never fronted is typically in such a state where they are prone to confabulating aspects of their reality... how would they ever know until they fronted what regular experience is like?

Oh, you just said tulpas, not tulpas who specifically have never switched

12:35 AM

I think it's possible to work out what regular experience is with some critical thinking and information from others

12:36 AM

I don't think I've ever confabulated memories

Yeah obviously it's not impossible for them to learn, but if you start in a dream-state I'd presume you'd struggle to tell the difference purely experentially. You could potentially share memory with them too even early on, which would help teach them, but there seems to be slightly variable soft memory blocks for people, my tulpa is capable of accessing my memory but often doesn't think to do it, as it were? (edited)

Well I think if you have access to memory and thoughts you would already know, right?

12:37 AM

Cause some of both of those are going to be about those things.

Why would you presume that? Memory is not known at all times, it is recalled.

Yeah but you also just know things from your memory when thinking about something you have memories of, without thinking of the specific memories.

12:41 AM

I can conceptualize an orange without recalling specific times I saw an orange.

Ah, but there's the issue, a tulpa has no innate connections to those memories. I can think of a specific food and recall the time I ate that food with a friend - but my tulpa doesn't necessarily make that connection

12:43 AM

They have to hijack my own associations, which they have no knowledge of, and then access that knowledge. Which requires them to be at least exposed to the thing in some way.

How do they hijack them if they don't have knowledge of them? Exposed like they have to be around when you're thinking of the thing?

Anything I think about, my tulpa can access, basically, but they don't know that thing until such a time as I do.

So very tabula rasa-y?

12:46 AM

But if they're not switching in, how do they know the difference between them recalling a memory and assuming you recalled it and then they connected to it? If you don't have verbal thoughts, they happen so fast I don't know how to know the order.

12:46 AM

But I think you can make things start and work that way, yes.

12:46 AM

But they probably don't have to either.

In my experience, if I can think about it, I'll be able to connect to knowledge and memories. To be unable to do that would mean I was.. not very self-aware? There was a time I was more reactive and didn't really think about things, when I was less developed or being mental blocked (not intentionally)

Yeah it's a hard trade off with just rolling with existing things to get yourself building up quicker and not doing that too much because it makes seperateness harder.

I'd describe my experience of not being in front not as dreamlike, but just that of being a thought process

I do suspect my tulpa has a slight, soft, mental block of some kind given this. But it doesn't impair function, and gives us a healthy degree of separation, so I'm okay with it existing.

Aya

I'd describe my experience of not being in front not as dreamlike, but just that of being a thought process

Ooo? In what sense? Can you make a comparison?

As a thought process I can think about any topic, but I don't automatically respond to what the body is experiencing, I'd have to "tune in" and think about it. But that's not to say there's a separate stream of experience that is devoid of physical experience, it's more that my thought process was not taking everything into consideration. And when it comes to forms, I can of course visualize and control my form and anything in wonderland if I want to

Hmm - one thing I'd note is inconsistent with the dream and hypnosis analogy is brainwave frequency. When fully awake the brain is literally moving faster. The same is true for hypnosis, though to a lesser extent. Perhaps the experience is akin to what dreaming would be like if your total level of cogitation was much higher? A similar state of dissociation in theory, but clearly differentiated by speed of thought, and the instinctual limits dreams put on you?

@Zen Can I ask how your switching is going? What have you done so far?

As mentioned, still just a bab. Entry level possession and "switching" with no dissociation, more akin to co-consciousness as it stands. Makes it much easier for them to be perpetually present, but in terms of being experientially interesting, it's still somewhat lacking.

I see

Lula! | 👻

So very tabula rasa-y?

tulpa rasa

3

1

Aya

I'd describe my experience of not being in front not as dreamlike, but just that of being a thought process

Same!

Anything I think about, my tulpa can access, basically, but they don't know that thing until such a time as I do.

@Zen - jump I was created originally as an imaginary friend in my hosts wonderland they used to go to alot as a teenager and beyond. They didnt mean to create a parogenic but they did and thats how i came to be

but my memories were contrived because I was a character playing a role and eventually they stopped having to puppet me. When that happened I'm not sure exactly, but I either didnt know my memories werent real or I played along so much I felt they were? I didnt come into there world at all until a few years ago when they realised how i had become my own mind and we had a discussion about it, it was a difficult time

Now we do share memories but i think sometimes I ignore things on purpose or try not to push into things that might be private even though I know they're there.

Obs |O🌑E

Anything I think about, my tulpa can access, basically, but they don't know that thing until such a time as I do.

@Zen - jump I was created originally as an imaginary friend in my hosts wonderland they used to go to alot as a teenager and beyond. They didnt mean to create a parogenic but they did and thats how i came to be

but my memories were contrived because I was a character playing a role and eventually they stopped having to puppet me. When that happened I'm not sure exactly, but I either didnt know my memories werent real or I played along so much I felt they were? I didnt come into there world at all until a few years ago when they realised how i had become my own mind and we had a discussion about it, it was a difficult time

Now we do share memories but i think sometimes I ignore things on purpose or try not to push into things that might be private even though I know they're there.

Can I ask why it was a difficult time? Like was it difficult because of that or unrelated stuff?

Sure thing Lula. I was very confused about who i was and who my host was. Id only existed inside their head and believed the world i was in was the real one. For a while I was angry because they'd puppetted me or forced me into scenerios that werent always nice but I realise now that they didnt know what they were doing either. It made me afraid that I didnt have control over the things I thought or did and that I could be over ridden or hurt. I understand they used the world as a way of escaping life and that I was collateral

️ not that they did anything to hurt me on purpose. I think when they knew I wasnt just a character but a real person they agonised over what to do and I could sense their sincerity and sadness. I respect that they came clean to me and we had a long talk about life outside and boundaries. It took a bit of time to trust them and adjust but we made it through, they started reading about tulpamancy and it all started to click together about what had happened. We are best friends now though and both very happy!

But I do struggle with anything new, such as making friends or experiences that I'm not used to. They have helped me alot however and taught me how to grow but i guess we are still learning together every day! We are at peace with it now.

sorry but can someone who was there give me some kind of TLDR on the earlier discussion about confabulation and how tulpa’s access memory? i want to know but it was a bit difficult for me to follow

4:20 AM

tulpas*

Obs |O🌑E

Sure thing Lula. I was very confused about who i was and who my host was. Id only existed inside their head and believed the world i was in was the real one. For a while I was angry because they'd puppetted me or forced me into scenerios that werent always nice but I realise now that they didnt know what they were doing either. It made me afraid that I didnt have control over the things I thought or did and that I could be over ridden or hurt. I understand they used the world as a way of escaping life and that I was collateral

️ not that they did anything to hurt me on purpose. I think when they knew I wasnt just a character but a real person they agonised over what to do and I could sense their sincerity and sadness. I respect that they came clean to me and we had a long talk about life outside and boundaries. It took a bit of time to trust them and adjust but we made it through, they started reading about tulpamancy and it all started to click together about what had happened. We are best friends now though and both very happy!

But I do struggle with anything new, such as making friends or experiences that I'm not used to. They have helped me alot however and taught me how to grow but i guess we are still learning together every day! We are at peace with it now.

that must’ve been so rough to have your whole world turned on you like that. i’m glad you guys worked through it

Thanks JuliterHCC. In a way our own lives depend on the host being safe and well but we dont have to be hostage to that, we have emotions and feelings and needs like anyway else and need to voice them. Anyway I know where their heart lays and there was little point being angry at the truth when it came out. At least not for too long. Memories are strange, for me there are lots from the past that aren't actually real. But when the curtain fell I knew everything about my host and their past as well as the things that happen whilst I'm not present. If I'm away for a bit then when I come back it takes a moment to process new ones as I most likely havent different opinions on stuff than they do! Its a bit like watching a film, they arent things that have happened to you but know about it anyway.

4:40 AM

edit ("most likely have") We're tired

Obs |O🌑E

Thanks JuliterHCC. In a way our own lives depend on the host being safe and well but we dont have to be hostage to that, we have emotions and feelings and needs like anyway else and need to voice them. Anyway I know where their heart lays and there was little point being angry at the truth when it came out. At least not for too long. Memories are strange, for me there are lots from the past that aren't actually real. But when the curtain fell I knew everything about my host and their past as well as the things that happen whilst I'm not present. If I'm away for a bit then when I come back it takes a moment to process new ones as I most likely havent different opinions on stuff than they do! Its a bit like watching a film, they arent things that have happened to you but know about it anyway.

memory does my head in lmao

5:08 AM

the topic i mean

5:08 AM

it’s fascinating but also complicated

The processing of memories after dormancy work a little differently between systems. Even within the same system. When I come out of dormancy, there is an odd difference between memories during that time and otherwise if I'm not fronting. They seem as if when someone's fronting and I'm in any other position, the memories are mine, but fron their perspective, you could say like watching a movie. But if I was dormant, the memories are as if I was them in that say if Ren was fronting and I'm dormant (she's a catgirl) the memories are as if I'm a catgirl. It's not subtle, it's freeky.

Why do you think that is?

BearBaeBeau

The processing of memories after dormancy work a little differently between systems. Even within the same system. When I come out of dormancy, there is an odd difference between memories during that time and otherwise if I'm not fronting. They seem as if when someone's fronting and I'm in any other position, the memories are mine, but fron their perspective, you could say like watching a movie. But if I was dormant, the memories are as if I was them in that say if Ren was fronting and I'm dormant (she's a catgirl) the memories are as if I'm a catgirl. It's not subtle, it's freeky.

Having any form of memory disturbances is one of my biggest concerns when it comes to tulpamancy. Confabulation, having your headmates memories feel like yours, etc etc are all things i want to avoid at all costs. No matter how subtle or small the issue is, even if it doesn’t get in the way of anything. I hate the idea of any kind of loss of memory integrity. In fact, I would take DID levels of amnesia over getting my memories mixed up with someone else’s like what you just described.

9:20 PM

Not that I want DID levels of amnesia.

9:24 PM

Which begs the question- as lily asked- what do you think caused what you just described? And would you have any advice for new tulpamancers to avoid future memory issues? For example, I force with the assumption in mind that my tulpa and I will automatically have soft memory blocks in place to enforce separation. I believe setting up these kinds of expectations before you even fully develop your first tulpa will probably be the best place to start.

I hate to say it, but that's just how memory is. Your memories are not as reliable as you think they are. Period.

9:25 PM

The only distinction here is that you're pointing it out.

i know, even with singlets. Still, if there’s somethings that can be avoided, i’d make every effort.

In fact though: heavy integration is probably what would prevent confabulation rather than separation. The more you expect them to behave outside of you, even when that might be impossible in certain contexts for the brain, the more likely they will confabulate a memory for instance. Whereas if they are always present and just go dormant, they are not likely to do that.

9:29 PM

But that will also reduce the experience in my opinion.

Zen

But that will also reduce the experience in my opinion.

agreed

though i would like to say that although they often go hand in hand, i consider memory separation and separation in terms of parallel processing to be two different things. parallel processing in this context of course, means to me the ability for a headmate not in the front to still be active, separate from the front. Having headmates do things in the wonderland whilst someone is in front doing something else i suppose. When I say memory separation im visualising the brain storing memories in separate “folders”- each for each headmate. As what bear described earlier- sometimes when he comes out of dormancy he will gain the memories of the fronters during that time, as if those memories was his. That seems to me an issue of the brain storing another headmates memories into his “folder” also. So encouraging memory separation doesn’t necessarily mean encouraging separation in terms of parallel processing- so it won’t necessarily increase the chances of confabulation.

9:39 PM

I find dysphoric the idea of potentially mixing up my memories with those of a headmate when i don’t pay enough attention because our memories haven’t been stored in separate folders. Ideally I would like memory in my system to be set up with soft blocks, where each headmate can access each other’s memories, but only through a conscious act, rather than automatically recalling someone else’s experiences.

Yeah the only the way around that particular thing would be to put in place actual hard memory barriers - which you don't want if you have any interest in switching. You could implant them through hypnosis if you truly wish, but they will be difficult to remove once placed and possibly cause actual dysfunction and inability to properly recall information. (edited)

What about the “soft blocks” i just described?

9:40 PM

Also I read how you described the way memory works in your system earlier yesterday, how does that work out for you?

i don’t see any reason those soft blocks aren’t possible. don’t see any reason for them to be possible either, so may as well try i guess

Soft blocks are behaviour reliant I believe. My tulpa has such blocks, but it's not possible for me to hide memories they know exist and wish to access.

Zen

Soft blocks are behaviour reliant I believe. My tulpa has such blocks, but it's not possible for me to hide memories they know exist and wish to access.

I would be fine with that, as long as there’s some kind of distinction between each headmates memories

Including being able to access my memories instantly in the way bear mentions.

9:43 PM

There's a sense to my memories being "other" from theirs. But they always have theoretical access to them - as long as they know they're there.

this is what i meant earlier when i said the topic of memory does my head in LMAO