Tulpa.info - Getting bored/distracted/frustrated while forcing + motivation issues to even start forcing

I have issues forcing. This isn't good for my tulpa, as you might have guessed. I want to force more so he'll be better soon, but there are some issues with that. These include: Intrusive thoughts, boredom while forcing and concentrating on one thing without distractions or on the flipside being too distracted while trying to force, not being able to visualize things well, skipping time or around locations while in the wonderland, lots of perfectionism and frustration as a result. This all led to the biggest problem: Motivation. I don't want to start forcing, be it talking to Velvet, going to the wonderland or doing anything with him. How did you manage the issues named above and how do you force regularly? How do you passive force without getting either bored or overwhelmed? Please, I need answers. Velvet is too conscious already for me to give up on him, I don't want to be alone again and certainly don't want to "kill" him. If you're willing to mentor us, feel free to DM me, but I'm content with even a quick answer or piece of advice.

Deleted User

I have issues forcing. This isn't good for my tulpa, as you might have guessed. I want to force more so he'll be better soon, but there are some issues with that. These include: Intrusive thoughts, boredom while forcing and concentrating on one thing without distractions or on the flipside being too distracted while trying to force, not being able to visualize things well, skipping time or around locations while in the wonderland, lots of perfectionism and frustration as a result. This all led to the biggest problem: Motivation. I don't want to start forcing, be it talking to Velvet, going to the wonderland or doing anything with him. How did you manage the issues named above and how do you force regularly? How do you passive force without getting either bored or overwhelmed? Please, I need answers. Velvet is too conscious already for me to give up on him, I don't want to be alone again and certainly don't want to "kill" him. If you're willing to mentor us, feel free to DM me, but I'm content with even a quick answer or piece of advice.

The tulpamancy process is fun only if you want to do it. If you don't have motivation then dealing with things boredom/intrusive thoughts becomes a chore. An easy way to get motivation is to try something new. This can be as simple as trying a new food or watching a new movie. Dealing with intrusive thoughts is pretty simple. You observe the thought knowing it won't affect you. If you deal with intrusive thoughts alot and it causes you distress seek professional help. I might suggest also that you can and should take a break from tulpamancy. If he is as sentient as you say he is he won't dissappear after a day (or even a few). Too add on to that on the off chance that you need/want to dissipate (not kill) velvet know that you can bring him back. I am not saying do that but I can attest to the consequences of not putting mental health first

I am back from a break right now. I already took one for a few weeks. My issues aren't fixable in that amount of time, I'll need to work on them for the rest of my life, I reckon. So I need to find a compromise to care for Velvet better while not forcing myself to do too much of the stuff I don't want to do, since it's technically my free time. How do I enjoy the process more?

2:08 PM

I do want a tulpa, I do want Velvet. I just don't know how to deal with the work that comes with that

Deleted User

I am back from a break right now. I already took one for a few weeks. My issues aren't fixable in that amount of time, I'll need to work on them for the rest of my life, I reckon. So I need to find a compromise to care for Velvet better while not forcing myself to do too much of the stuff I don't want to do, since it's technically my free time. How do I enjoy the process more?

Well the above advice of try something new still applies, but to add on to that are their things that you both will enjoy? It shouldn't be too far out their to find a video game,book,movie,excercise,etc that you both will get enjoyment out of. As far as "issue's that you need to deal with for the rest of your life", could you expad on that? (edited)

Zee

Well the above advice of try something new still applies, but to add on to that are their things that you both will enjoy? It shouldn't be too far out their to find a video game,book,movie,excercise,etc that you both will get enjoyment out of. As far as "issue's that you need to deal with for the rest of your life", could you expad on that? (edited)

We do enjoy Minecraft and dancing to music, but I do those things more or less alone and don't really know how to include him

Another thing to note is that during the activity you don't have to interact all the time. For example, lets say I am playing elden ring and I want to interact with Amanda. Elden ring can at times require alot of concentration so I won't be able to talk to amanda a whole lot. So what I do is, after I beat a boss, or win a battle I ask her what did you think of the battle?, Did you like the music?, etc (edited)

The issues are eating issues, intrusive thoughts, depression, anxiety, a social disorder, loss and tics I need to deal with that aren't easily cureable

2:23 PM

Sometimes if I don't force him, he can't remember what I did because he was inactive. So if I beat a boss, he might not have access to the memory of the battle

Deleted User

The issues are eating issues, intrusive thoughts, depression, anxiety, a social disorder, loss and tics I need to deal with that aren't easily cureable

Ah. These require therapy but I can relate to alot of them. Him not having access to the memory would be weird unless you guys have dissociative barriers. Your tulpa should know/see/hear/feel/taste everything you do.

2:25 PM

If you do have dissociative barriers you are at the wrong place

Zee

Ah. These require therapy but I can relate to alot of them. Him not having access to the memory would be weird unless you guys have dissociative barriers. Your tulpa should know/see/hear/feel/taste everything you do.

I am in therapy. Without I wouldn't be able to function :/ (edited)

2:29 PM

Those ae not dissociative barriers, we can't even switch so I can remember everything. Velvet though sometimes does not have access to certain memories and events when he was inactive at that time. We have been experimenting with me giving him access to those and have had some promising results. We used symbolism a lot, but it's not a real technique that works 100% yet

Deleted User

Those ae not dissociative barriers, we can't even switch so I can remember everything. Velvet though sometimes does not have access to certain memories and events when he was inactive at that time. We have been experimenting with me giving him access to those and have had some promising results. We used symbolism a lot, but it's not a real technique that works 100% yet

I have seen this before. Your tulpa will eventually get access too your memories/senses if it hasn't already. It is just a matter of patience. What I will say is that since he likes minecraft you can probably talk to him about what they like to build,their favourite enemy,etc before and during. It takes a bit of effort but with patience and time and development you won't even need to start it for they will start it themselves.

2:36 PM

What I mean by that is, Your tulpa won't need to rely on you to initiate conversation/activities at all. Another thing that I want to mention that is a bit off topic, You don't need any barrier to switch. You can switch and still be aware.

I know, I just thought you thought that I had some kind of mental illness like DID where you switch randomly and sometimes can't remember it.

2:37 PM

Thanks for the heads-up. I can't wait for Velvet to be more autonomous

no problem feel free to DM me for any questions

How do I progress faster in tulpamancy? Like, does forcing regularly suffice or do I need to do something so he can get more independent?

Deleted User

How do I progress faster in tulpamancy? Like, does forcing regularly suffice or do I need to do something so he can get more independent?

Don't worry about speed. How fast your progress takes is different for everyone and (in my opinion) is reliant on factors mostly out of ones control. What you should instead worry about is consistency. If your only talking to your tulpa for 15 minutes a day, that will be enough to keep him around.

2:47 PM

To put it into perspective, I have been a tulpamancer for four months now and we learned to switch week 2. Others it takes months (and rarely years).

2:48 PM

I cannot stress enough that progress will come naturally. The important part is for you and velvet to do it your way

Do you have a wonderland? If yes, can you tell me more about how you make it work?

Deleted User

Do you have a wonderland? If yes, can you tell me more about how you make it work?

Wonderland is a thing that should just work. What makes you believe it is not working?

2:51 PM

Our wonderland changes more or less based on what we want

2:52 PM

so if I want to relax in a rainforest then that is what will be happening. If I want to cuddle in a master bedroom, then that is what will happen

2:52 PM

The only consistent part of our wonderland is the common area

I see. As already mentioned, we do struggle with unwanted thoughts and visualization issues

2:57 PM

Thanks for your advice!

Deleted User

I see. As already mentioned, we do struggle with unwanted thoughts and visualization issues

No problem. Visualisation gets better with time. So just practice. I assume you saw what I said about intrusive thoiughts aove

2:59 PM

good luck to you both

Zee

No problem. Visualisation gets better with time. So just practice. I assume you saw what I said about intrusive thoiughts aove

Yes, I saw. Thanks fo your help!

@A long kiss goodnight The intrusive thoughts aren't scary, thank god.

3:44 PM

Just annoying

Repost for ease of use:

3:45 PM

I got roped into cooking, sorry about that. For visualizing things you don't want- if you're visualizing too many objects at once, it can be easy for things to get off the rails. It may help to visualize things one at a time at first and then work your way up to more objects. If the intrusive thoughts are scary, that's a different situation. I feel I need more context before giving advice on that. As for getting distracted, would it help to let your mind wander and check in with Velvet to see what he thinks about your thoughts?

Maybe. But it's hard letting your mind wander intentionally. But I'll try that!

See, it doesn't rain when you bring an umbrella! But hopefully now it's a win-win situation ^^

I hope so.

3:48 PM

How often would you recommend I force actively? Is twice a week for 15mins okay or should I do it more often? How can I build up more concentration? Any tips?

I wonder if what you need is confidence rather than concentration. Clearly, you're very focused on this issue, but I wonder if there are other problems that arise when you talk to Velvet. Speaking of which, do you mind if I talk to him?

Sure. He's listening.

Howdy Velvet! How are you?

I'm fine, I guess. I'm always getting tired when Maniac doesn't talk to me regularly, but right now I'm fine

Oh, you have tupperbox and pk

3:56 PM

You can choose to turn one of those off in #tupperbox-pluralkit

Velvet // AETERNIA

I'm fine, I guess. I'm always getting tired when Maniac doesn't talk to me regularly, but right now I'm fine

Can you tell me about the last time you guys tried to wonderland?

It's been a while. I don't blame her, it isn't easy for her to go there. Maybe one or two months?

That's okay, do you remember doing anything, even if it was just trying to wonderland?

Doing anything in the wonderland or doing anything together in general?

Sure, either

We went for a walk once or twice. I loved that. We also made a house in the wonderland, but it was borderline painful for her because she tried to make everything consistent. Then we talk a lot and made a few reddit posts together. The German tulpa website has a random generator that gives you ideas on what to do with your tulpa, so we did some of that as well. We also wanted to write a poem together, but never actually did it.

Aww

4:13 PM

Making a wonderland house consistent can be really hard. I wonder if making a model in Minecraft, out of LEGOs, 3d modeling software, and/or a floor plan designer would help serve as refrences for picturing your home. We also struggle with wonderlanding. Due to our mental health issues we can't play with wonderlanding much now, but before that became a problem I wrote some scratch for a wonderland guide I would like to make in the future: https://community.tulpa.info/topic/19586-wonderland-guide-scratch/

Wonderland Guide Scratch

This is what I have for a wonderland guide I'm working on. It's in limbo now, mostly because I screwed myself and I created a guide chain: This guide depends on another guide (Visualization warm up) that depends on another guide (visualizing in 3d). So until then, here's the scratch of what I hav...

Thanks. I already used a floor planner once, but it never did what I wanted and I couldn't customize it as much as I'd want to. I drew it once though. It's not even that big but I can't seem to interact with it well

At that point you may really benefit from something like Revit from Autodesk, but I know that costs money and it's not cheap

No money for something I will use maybe twice. Sorry.

4:19 PM

I'll keep on drawing and noting things down

Googling it, there are suggested alternatives out there. It may be worthwhile to investigate if any are free and use those

4:20 PM

Having the keywords "Revit alternatives" might help

Thanks, friend! I will check it out

Deleted User

How often would you recommend I force actively? Is twice a week for 15mins okay or should I do it more often? How can I build up more concentration? Any tips?

Oh, I missed the question on timing. I would go with an amount of time both of you are comfortable with. Twice a week for 15 minutes sounds reasonable, although it may be difficult to have a detailed wonderland house set up in that amount of time. Of course, if you feel tired, you should absolutely let yourself rest

That's the issue. I'm exhausted after five minutes a day. So I need to push myself a little anyways.

If you're getting exhausted after 5 minutes, what are you doing?

4:31 PM

Are you trying some hard core meditation?

Lmao no just visualizing. I have pretty bad depression and probably some kind of sleep disorder since I need to sleep 10+ hours a day to function. So I get tired all the time and can't concentrate for long.

Hmm, that'll do it

4:38 PM

I'm wondering if you should make your wonderland house out of crafting materials. If visualizing is that hard on your mind, no wonder you're having a hard time. Depression can absolutely throw your mind's eye in the trash. While working on visualization skills can help, the most helpful thing would likely be treating the depression. Given what you're needing help with and my brief chat with Velvet, I think you're actually fairly solid skill wise. It's just you unfortunately have other factors making things harder than they need to be

I know what you mean, but I've been depressed for over three years now, have been hospitalized and been with two different therapists + different meds. It's not easy to get rid of, maybe I'll always be depressed. So I need to "suck it up and deal with it" somehow

Squints do you have a trauma history? Perfectionism can be a warning sign for trauma

4:44 PM

I personally have a theory that people who are really depressed have something serious like trauma but don't realize it because they invalidate their emotions. And then they don't think to look for the treatment they might need

4:45 PM

Sorry, I realized that's bordering too much into me asking for too much info

4:46 PM

I just don't want someone to feel like they have to just "deal with" mental illness that may be treatable

Lmao, it's fine. My mom died, but I was depressed and even hospitalized before that already. And that's the only thing that could've been that "trauma"

We're traumatized from emotional abuse and not being able to process our emotions since we converted our problems into trauma instead. It took awhile for us to figure that out, trauma isn't always a war or a death in the family. All of this is getting into "ask your doctor" territory. But keep an open mind if things aren't working out though (edited)

Thanks, will do. I do my best to get better, but actually doing stuff has been an issue for a while now. I'm working on it! :)

Good luck, hopefully this helps! ^^

4:51 PM

(Also I'm getting sleepy now myself, must cuddle host...)

Okay, have a great rest of the day! Cya!

1